**all things written here after are about my experience, depression is NOT the same for everyone**

So I have no idea just yet – do I have chronic/major depressive disorder or is it bi-polar? Like the current state-of-affairs in the USA we all hope neither but we know it is going to be one. At least with some label there may be clarity in how to attack!

So for a few years now I have experienced low moods and moments of wishing I was not here, whether that be suicidal thoughts or intense wishes for swift moving fatal disease (I KNOW!! I should be so thankful I am alive and well… welcome to depression!). On occasion I wish I was never born, no matter what I do from that very moment I realise there is only pain thereafter – either for me or for those around me.

This blog is going to be a bit of a rant space for me and a ‘tips and tools’ space for you all. You guys who feel stumped and don’t know what to say or do. Who have put their foot firmly in their mouths and especially for those who think they know just what to do…. You don’t.

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