So, today I had that dilemma. I think others must experience this – you vaguely nod ‘yes’ to a question requiring a detailed answer, e.g. “Which home is the best to visit first?’ And you nod with a look that says ‘I like mashed potato’.
Anyway, this happened for me today and I thought ‘shit I have to tell this (new) supervisor that this isn’t the usual me, this is not me functioning at 100%… mmm mashed potato’ but then the inevitable question pops up…‘what do I say is the matter….THEY’RE WAITING!!!’.
“I’m unwell and so a bit vague” or “my great aunt deleted my hard drive” or “my cat has run away with another family” – I hate buying into the stigma about mental health issues but all of these are more attractive than saying “the black dog has bitten my heels, given me allergies and taken over my home by peeing on everything making my world grey and dark and awful” aka “I. Have. Depression.”
Maybe it’s my mental health talking but even though I feel like things are changing I still believe that there is a level of judgment of those identifying as experiencing mental health issues.
So I just herp-derped out of there, leaving my new supervisor probably thinking ‘ummmm weirdo’ and believing the stories told about me by colleagues… Wait… Is that the paranoia talking!?
Fuck, I can’t tell.